“God” Said It, Tucker Carlson Believed It, That Settles It?

If you’ve ever wondered whether or not God actually exists, you can now rest easy with a definite answer, because conservative cable-talker, Tucker Carlson, heard God’s voice, audibly and directly, and can report that he now knows that God exists, and takes God at his word.

In a recent feature on Carlson in a Pennsylvania online publication, Carlson’s extraordinary, Abraham-like experience, is shared:

[F]or Carlson, who was baptized as an Episcopalian but didn’t attend church growing up, the question of God’s existence was settled with two words.

As a high school junior, Carlson was reading, “Wishful Thinking,” a book by author and minister Frederick Buechner, when he said he heard a voice.

“I was reading this book and all of a sudden, God just spoke out loud to me, in my room, totally randomly, out of the blue and said, ‘I exist.’ So I took him at his word. And that was it,” Carlson said.

It must have been in a male voice, for Carlson also describes God as a “him.”

So now we know.

God is, and he is male.

It’s a great relief to have that cleared up. If you simply believe that, twenty years ago, God spoke to a pimply-teenage American named “Tucker Carlson,” and told him “I exist,” one need never revisit that question again.

Carlson never has.

Now let’s move on, shall we?

About Santi Tafarella

I teach writing and literature at Antelope Valley College in California.
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