Shitmydadsays is the best use of Twitter I’ve ever encountered. A 28 year old lives with his 73 year old father and simply quotes him periodically.
Here’s a sample:
“Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”
“The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
“It’s watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don’t even pay rent, just do it. Shit.”
“The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside.”
“They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don’t.”
Spinoffs?
Lots of possibilities:
- Shitmyteachersays
- Shitmykidsays
- Shitmyassholeboyfriendsays
- Shitmycoworkersays
Prometheus Unbound 
Reply: Diffrent, Here’s one of mine
THE EMPTY CHAIR
A view without a scene
A play missing the lead actor
A movie searching for the script
Chairs at a table for two less one
Sharing with ones self is never really sharing
Experience digested alone results in bile
Single or singular are things dismissed
One is the loneliness number and wanting to be
The heart beats one at a time but many by minute
A rhythm starts with a single beat
Joined by others to form a chorus
Improvising in order to lead others to believe
Musical chairs always leaves one without
A purpose without cause or desire
Cause missing the action it invokes
A leader preaching to an empty congregation
Being in love will always require another
Selfish wishes filled only by one
A chair for one or anyone to enjoy
Dreaming to fill, the other in hopes of
Loving a landscape or dreamscape or the lure
Without occupying the chair, reason is lost
Loving to fill your heart or the empty chair
Fulfilling a void of empty heart or house
A chair occupied by body, soul, or just love, is filled
Andrew:
I see what you’re doing. Yes, that does make for an interesting way to use Twitter (as a place to brainstorm a word or phrase over time).
Hmm.
—Santi