Why Adam and Eve Never Existed (Illustrated By An Analogy To Birds On An Island)

Imagine an island off the coast of a continent. Two birds from the continent–a male and female–get swept up by a storm and find themselves stranded on this island. They go on to mate and a new species of bird evolves. They’re the Adam and Eve of that particular species on this particular island.

But wait. What if six birds are swept over to the island, and they begin interbreeding? Over time, mutations swap in all sorts of directions between the descendants of those six, and those mutations add up to a new species specially adapted to that island.

Which couple is the Adam and Eve of the new species now? Answer: there was no Adam and Eve for that species. There was a population that got isolated down to six–that bottlenecked at six–and those six combined their genetic inheritance to generate and swap genes to make the new species–and the variety of genetic diversity it possesses today.

Population geneticists would know that there were six individual birds from which the species branched, not two, based on the amount of genetic diversity displayed by the contemporary members of the group. They would know this for the same reason that population geneticists know today that the contemporary diversity of humans indicates that our species has never bottlenecked at a figure of less than 1250, and that the Khoisan tribe in Africa possesses the most divergent genetic profile of any group of people on the planet.

But what if those birds evolved a civilization and had a religious text that told them that their species started with a couple, and they read it literally?

Then you could posit that of those six original birds, two of them were given one mutation–a spiritual mutation–in which God put an eternal soul into them. This is not something traceable by genetics, but it would be reasonable to assume that if the soul mutation was advantageous, then it would spread to all the descendants of the six birds over time (by interbreeding).

The birds could even posit that their Adam and Eve soul mutation started on the continent, and spread among many birds before it ever even came to the island, and that all six original inhabitants of the island had souls from day one (because their parents had souls back on the continent).

In other words, there’s a way around the genetics. If you’re prepared to treat a miraculous soul change in two birds as a species change that confers benefits to the possessors, you’re home free.

So when it comes to miracles, you can make up any wild theory you want. You can put God’s eternal soul mutation anywhere along the continuum of the birds’ evolutionary lineage. All bets can be off. Population geneticists can’t prove the birds’ religious story is wrong, but the birds can never know whether or not they’re deluding themselves.

Which of course they are.

But imagine if the birds had experts in literature and the study of bird culture, the overwhelming majority of whom saying, “The Adam and Eve bird story in the Old Book is an etiological narrative. It doesn’t need to be read literally.”

Now things get complicated again. Would it be wise of the birds to go against both the geneticists and the cultural and literary academics of their species? Surely it would be better for them to say, “Let’s read our Adam and Eve bird story as a good campfire tale, and leave it at that.”

That would be their out so that they wouldn’t have to make up a strained Adam-and-Eve-bird-soul-infusion hypothesis to save the veracity of the Sacred Book.

If the birds took their Adam and Eve tale to just be a myth, it would accord with empiricism and Occam’s razor. It would fit all the evidence and expert opinion simply and naturally. But the problem, of course, is whether the birds’ religious orthodoxy could really withstand the dropping of sacred text literalism and evolve to accommodate the deliverances of their reality testing.

Easier and more fun for the birds would be to blow off the snooty genetic, cultural, and literary experts, stop thinking so hard, maintain nostalgia for the inerrancy of the Old Book, fly to Kentucky, and build a bird creation museum there.

About Santi Tafarella

I teach writing and literature at Antelope Valley College in California.
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6 Responses to Why Adam and Eve Never Existed (Illustrated By An Analogy To Birds On An Island)

  1. Linuxgal says:

    And after you mix in the fact that the Bible calls bats birds the whole story really goes South.

  2. Mikels Skele says:

    Even with only 2 birds, they start as one species, and many mutations among many descendants later, emerge as another. Who’s yer Mama now?😉

  3. Anonymous says:

    All I know is that the God of the Bible is the only God, and that he is so immensely powerful that no man can understand his ways.People are free to think what they want, but just because someone doesn’t believe, doesn’t make it not true. God’s not sitting up in heaven ringing his hands and being all sad, if people don’t believe what he has said in his word. He’s God and he doesn’t have to prove anything. I for one am more than thrilled and honored to speak up for him with absolutely zero regrets. Oh and I don’t owe anyone an explanation either. PEACE OUT!

    • Longtooth says:

      It amazes me that some people are so given to making all sorts of claims about the identity and character of an entity who can’t even be proven to exist. If the “god of the Bible” is the “only god” then the realm of godhood occupies a sorry state indeed. We would have to conclude that “God” is either an ignorant dolt or a bald faced sausage grinder or a combination thereof.

      Given these possibilities or likelihoods, consider in contrast a perspective from an alternative scripture. The Gospel of Thomas is thought to be as old as the oldest known copies of the canonical gospels. It presents a very different and provocative vision of things compared to the canonical one. The following quotations from Thomas are alleged to have come from the lips of Jesus himself

      “Yaldabaothe stationed seven kings to reign over the seven heavens, and five to reign over the depths of hell. He shared his fire with them, but did not give away any of the power of the light that he had taken from his Mother. For he is a being of ignorant darkness.”.

      And,

      “He is a wicked because of the Mindlessness that is in him. For he said, ‘I am God, and there is no other God besides me,’ since he did not know from where his own strength had come.”

      And,

      “When he saw creation all around, and the throng of angels around him that had come forth from him, he said to them, ‘ I am a jealous God and there is no other God besides me.’ But by making this announcement, he suggested to the angels with him that there is another God. For if there were no other God, of whom would he be jealous?”

      And,

      “Do not suppose that it happened the way Moses said ……”

      • Santi Tafarella says:

        Hi Longtooth:

        Good points. Absent evidence, the sky is the limit on claims. Perhaps this song is apt:

  4. Longtooth says:

    Hi Santi,

    Yea virally.

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