The Gospel of Jessica Christ

Playing off the language of the NT (in the KJV), I’ve taken certain passages from the four gospels and put them into gender reversal (just to see what happens). I’ve also inserted a word firecracker here and there to add some additional surprises to these otherwise familiar texts. Turning Jesus into Jessica somehow invigorates the old story for me, and makes it edgy and interesting again.

What say you?

__________ 

Prologue (Mark 1:1; John 1:1-5)

The beginning of the gospel of Jessica Christ,

the Daughter of God.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             .

In the beginning was the Womb, and the

Womb was with God, and the Womb was God.

The same was in the beginning with God.

All things were made by her; and without her

was not anything made that was made. In her

was life; and the life was the darkness of men.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           .

And the Womb hideth in darkness;

and the light comprehendeth it not.

———–

The Incarnation (John 1:14)

And the Womb was made flesh, and dwelt

among us (and we beheld her glory, the

glory as of the only begotten of the Mother),

full of grace and emptiness.

———-

Joanna the Baptist (John 1:6; Mark 1:4-7)

There was a woman sent from God, whose name

was Joanna.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 .

Joanna did baptize in the wilderness, and preach

the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins

against women. And there went unto her all the

land of Judea, and they of Jerusalem, and were all

baptized of her in the river Jordan, confessing

their sins against women.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             .

And Joanna was clothed with camel’s hair, and

with a girdle of a skin about her loins; and she did

eat locusts and wild honey; and preached, saying,

There cometh one mightier than I after me,

the latch of whose shoes I am not worthy

to stoop down and unloose.

———–

Jessica’s Baptism and Temptation in the Wilderness (Mark 1:9-13)

And it came to pass in those days, that Jessica came

from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized of

Joanna in Jordan. And straightway coming up out of

the water, she saw the heavens opened, and the

Spirit like an owl descending upon her.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          .

And there came a voice from heaven saying,

Thou are my beloved Daughter, in whom I am well

pleased. And immediately the Spirit driveth her into

the wilderness. And she was there in the wilderness

forty days, tempted of Satan; and was with the wild

beasts; and the angels ministered unto her.

———–

Jessica Begins Her Ministry (Mark 1:14-18)

Now after that Joanna was put in prison,

Jessica came into Galilee, preaching the

gospel of the Womb Realm, and

saying, The time is fulfilled, and the Womb

Realm is at hand: repent ye, and

believe the gospel.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   .

Now as Jessica walked by the sea of

Galilee, she saw Petra and Adriana her

sister casting a net into the sea: for they

were fishers.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                               .

And Jessica said unto them, Come ye

after me, and I will make you to become

fishers of women. And straightway they

forsook their nets, and followed her.

———–

Jessica Casts an Unclean Spirit from a Woman (Mark 1:21; 23-28)

And they went into Capernaum; and straightway on

the sabbath day she entered the church, and

taught.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               .

And there was in the church a woman with an

unclean spirit; and she cried out, saying, Let us

alone; what have we to do with thee, thou

Jessica of Nazareth? art thou come to destroy us?

I know thee who thou art, the Holy Womb of God.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   .

And Jessica rebuked her, saying, Hold thy peace,

and come out of her. And when the unclean spirit

had torn her, and cried with a loud voice, she came

out of her.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       .

And they were all amazed, insomuch that they

questioned among themselves, saying, What thing is

this? what new doctrine is this? for with authority

commandeth she even the unclean spirits, and they

do obey her. And immediately her fame spread

abroad throughout all the region round about Galilee.

———–

“All Women Seek for Thee” (Mark 1:35-37)

And in the morning, rising up a great while

before day, she went out, and departed into

a solitary place, and there prayed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                .

And Petra and they that were with her

followed after her. And when they had

found her, they said unto her, All women

seek for thee.

———-

Jessica Heals a Woman (Mark 2:1-7)

And again Jessica entered into Capernaum after

some days, and it was noised that she was in the

house. And straightway many were gathered

together, insomuch that there was not room

to receive them, no not so much as about the

door: and she preached the Womb unto them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               .

And they came to Jessica, bringing one sick of

the palsy, which was borne of four. And when

they could not come nigh unto her for the press,

they uncovered the roof where she was: and

when they had broken it up, they let down the

bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay. When

Jessica saw their commitment to feminism, she

said unto the sick of the palsy, Daughter, thy

servile obedience to men be forgiven thee.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 .

But there were certain of the men sitting there,

and reasoning in their hearts, Why doth this

woman thus speak blasphemies?

———-

From a Mountain, Jessica Preaches a Sermon (Mt. 5:1-5)

And seeing the multitudes, she went up into a

mountain: and when she was set, her

disciples came unto her. And she opened

her mouth, and taught them, saying, Blessed

are the poor in spirit; for their’s is the Womb

Realm. Blessed are they that

mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed

are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

———-

Some Sayings of Jessica (Mt. 5:10-12; 16)

Blessed are they which are persecuted for women’s

rights sake: for their’s is the Womb Realm.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    .

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and

persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil

against you falsely, from my sake. Rejoice and be

exceeding glad: for great is your reward in the

Womb Realm: for so persecuted they the

prophetesses which were before you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             .

Let your light so shine before women, that they may

see your good works, and glorify your Mother

which is in heaven.

———–

Stay tuned. More anon. Let me know if you find the idea interesting. Observations, insights, criticism, and advice are welcome.